Thursday, February 16, 2006

Major league bullshit

Our job, here at Comment Gator ranch, is to comment (duh!) on the imbecilic and generally depraved "opinions" of the IT fanboy crowd. In the main, this crowd consists of spotty, nerdy and drooling teenagers with Atari t-shirts. Due to a severe lack of life, said crowd takes refuge to the various tech sites and online fora, carefully avoiding direct human contact (which is wise). As you can witness from reading Slashdot, OSNews, Mac Daily News, or even this very site, the fanboy mob never ceases to amuse us by producing wonderful monuments of human stupidity. They have, however, an excuse: they are, after all, just uninformed nerds in ther teens. It is a different case altogether when the highest paid journalist in tech, well over forty, provides us with lunatic ravings of such mass stupidity that it curves the space-time continuum.

Commenting on ignorant comments is a dirty job. But today, it's dirtier than usual, for today we are in deep shit. In deep bullshit, to be exact. Here's what I mean:

The idea that Apple would ditch its own OS for Microsoft Windows came to me from Yakov Epstein, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University, who wrote to me convinced that the process had already begun. I was amused, but after mulling over various coincidences, I'm convinced he may be right. This would be the most phenomenal turnabout in the history of desktop computing.


Computers made of milk would be the most phenomenal turnabout in the history of desktop computing. The only problem, as with the above theory, is that THERE IS NO F*****N CHANCE IN HELL THIS WILL HAPPEN.

Since fools come in pairs, mr. Dvorak (for this is the writer of the exquisite piece of science fiction journalism you just read), took his lead from a certain Epstein (he's no Einstein), a "professor of psychology at Rutgers University". With university professors as informed as this, who needs kindergarden?

But let's see the basis for Epstein's (he's no Einstein) guess:

Epstein made four observations. The first was that the Apple Switch ad campaign was over, and nobody switched. The second was that the iPod lost its FireWire connector because the PC world was the new target audience. Also, although the iPod was designed to get people to move to the Mac, this didn't happen. And, of course, that Apple had switched to the Intel microprocessor.

Nobody switched? Where does mr. Epstein (he's no Einstein) gets his numbers? Last time I checked, hundrends of thousands of people switched. Furthermore, the switch campaign is not over. Here it is: (Duh!). Except if he meant the tv ad campaings. Well, mr. Epstein (you're no Einstein), tv ad campaigns get stale and new ones take their place. (Duh!).

The second "observation" has nothing to do with the case. First of all, all moderns PCs have firewire. As a matter of fact, most modern PCs have more firewire ports than most Macs do (i.e two). And second, the reason Firewire was dropped was to have a smaller form factor and cut costs. (Duh!)

The third observation states: "although the iPod was designed to get people to move to the Mac, this didn't happen". WTF? Haven't this guy heard of the halo effect? Thousands of people came to Macs due to the iPod/iTunes exposure. And

As for Apple switching to the intel architecture, the reasons are already well known and have nothing to do with switching Macs over to Windows (due to new and improved BIOS replacement technology they don't even run Windows as of now!).
As a matter of fact, it is the reverse that might happen in the future: OSX running in generic PCs, taking over Windows.

It's a dirty job, this commenting business, but somebody's got to do it.

Now, do excuse me: I have to take a shower.


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